Friday, July 24, 2015

One Year, Two Months, One Day...

Dearest One,

This is an amazing milestone for us both. I never imagined I would be so blessed as to have a child, let alone be celebrating all of your milestones and achievements.

This has been a rough month for mama, my dear. I have not been feeling well lately. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, and this month has seen the lowest I have been in a long time, perhaps ever. Unfortunately, it affects everyone I love and am close to, which would include you and baba. The fact that's Tete is visiting is helping out immensely. But on to happier and more important details...

You are the master of Peek-A-Boos. You point at things to either tell us what you think they are, or to ask us what they are. You are a lot more vocal about your wants and needs. You seem a lot more interested in walking, as you are trying to take more steps and are standing on your own for longer periods of time. Who knows? Maybe the next post will see you walking and talking, inshallah :)

You celebrated Eid Al-Fitr (this year it was on July 18th) with tete and I and were so well behaved throughout the prayer, celebrations and the brunch that followed, with baba.

I love you my dear. I wish I felt like I deserved you more. I know we are all meant to have what we have. You are meant to have me for a mother, and I am meant to have you for a son. I just wish I felt like the blessing that you are is an earned one. I wish that I deserved you.  I wish I were better for your sake. I am trying to be better, I promise.

Baba and I love you with all of our hearts and with everything we are and everything we have, no matter what. 

Happy Fourteen Months, my darling darling boy.

No comments:

Post a Comment