One Year, Nine Months...

Dearest Jude,

Today you are One Year, Nine Months old! or, Twenty One Months old.

We have been enjoying having friends over every day of the week. Olivia, Maisie, and for the current two-week period, Sanaa. You have always been and are so smart, mashallah! Your language skills are developing at a rate beyond our expectations. We would be sitting and all of a sudden   you would say a word and we would have no clue how you learned it.

You are still teething, and to cope with that you have been sticking your fingers in your mouth. Also, the sookie is back in your mouth for most of the day, and not just during naptime and nighttime. Inshallah this will pass.

I am going off mirtazipine and slowly reducing the amount over the next couple of months. So if you have any negative memories of this time, I am truly sorry. I am trying to exercise everyday and get back into praying five times a day. We as Muslims are to pray five times a day, Fajr (morning), Duhr (noon), Asr (afternoon), Maghreb (sunset) and Isha (evening).

I love you my darling child. If I don't show it enough, I am sorry. I still find it hard to find reasons to deserve you. I hope it will never affect our relationship

Dearest Jude,

With the help of #influenster, we received some Pull-up diapers/pants. Hopefully soon inshallah, you will be using those!

We have a little green frog potty that you like sitting on. You are slowly catching on to the fact that it is to use when relieving yourself. I think you will be ready soon for big boy underwear, and we can say "Bye Bye" to diapers! #byebyediapers

One Year, Eight Months...

حبيبي جود،
اليوم عمرك عشرين شهر، أو سنة و ثمانية أشهر ما شاء الله. فكرت أن أكتب لك باللغة العربية من الآن لكي أستطيع أن أتذكر الكتابة باللغة العربية الفصحى و لكي أعلمك اللغة العربية بنفسي انشاء الله.

اليوم (السبت) جاءت جدتك نانسي إلى البيت و ستنام عندنا ليوم الاثنين. 

هي تحبك حب لا يوجد مثله. انت حبيب قلبها مثل ما انت حبيب قلب تيتي و جدو. نانسي و عمتك يجب أن يبيعوا بيتهم. و جدتك تحاول أن تقرر في أي منطقة ممكن أن تسكن. هي و عمتك عاشوا مع بعضهم من حوالي خمسة عشر سنة تقريبا. نحن نحاول أن نقنعها بالسكن في هاليفاكس لتكون قريبة منك و منا.

خبر آخر من هذا الشهر هز اللاجئون السوريون. أخذتك انت و ميسي مرة(الاسبوع الماضي) إلى المكتبة و تقابلنا مع مجموعة من اللاجئين السوريين و هم لهم ثلاثة أيام فقط. كان معهم شخص متطوع مع ISANS ليساعدهم باستكشاف هاليفاكس. الله يعينهم و يساعدهم. كانت سنيني الأولى في كندا صعبة جدا و الاكتئاب لازمني من هذاك الوقت. أتمنى أن لا تحس بهذا الإحساس ابدا. إذا تستطيع أن تضع نفسك في مكان شخص آخر لتفهم ردة فعلهم أو شعورهم تجاه موقف معين، ضع نفسك. هذه هي طريقة من الطرق التي ستذكرك بأهمية الرحمة و التسامح و التوكل على الله بكل شيء.

حبيبي جود، انا آسفة جدا على قسوتي معك. انا لا أحب هذه الطريقة بالتعامل معك. أن أحبك من كل قلبي فأرجو أن تسامحني. أحبك حبيب قلبي و روحي.

ماما .

Tete and Jiddo's visit

Dearest Jude,

You and I try to speak to tete and jiddo on the app Line, every day, and try to video chat with them so that you can see them and they can see you. My mama and baba came for a visit on Dec. 24th and just left today. You fell asleep on the way to the airport, so they gave you a kiss before they went into the airport. They were devastated to not be with you in the flesh any more. They even called from the airport with the change they had left to speak to you on the phone. They love you so much. You are the light of their eyes.

We were supposed to meet your baba so that you can go on the truck with him, in your carseat, on our way to the airport, but we had to stop at Costco and it was insanely busy so we missed out on the opportunity to ride in a caravan towards the airport with your tete and jiddo's car and baba's 5-ton truck.

I am very sad to see them leave, as they are my parents and I miss them terribly even though their flight hasn't taken off yet. I love them so much, they took care of me and khalo, continue to take care of us amd are taking care of you as well. They are the hardest working and most honest people u have ever met. Their wisdom is like gold, and is rare and precious.

I think you miss them too because once we came into the house you were walking around looking for them. You even looked in the guest living room where they normally pray to see if they are praying in there. I hope they come back very soon. Even more I hope they come back to stay soon.

I love you my darling boy. We have each other and that will get us both through it for a while. I love you.

One Year, Seven Months, Two Days...

Dearest Jude,

This post is a couple of days late. We have been busy getting the house ready for Tete and Jiddo. They came last night, Dec. 24th. Your baba, yourself and I went and picked them up from the airport. You were tired as it was bedtime, and were running around in the terminal climbing over the baggage conveyor belt thingamajig. You and I were also counting baggage carts by pushing in a screw right by the handle and counting them that way. I don't know if you would remember this or not, but you were enjoying counting that way and seemed to have fun doing it.

This is your first time meeting Jiddo face to face. You have been shy around both Tete and Jiddo but more so around Jiddo. Also, I think you caught the flu from Sarah and Sam from across the street. They came and played with you at the house on the 23rd. But it is hard to say, since you still use your sookie even though you have been good and only using it for sleeping for a while, you have gone back to using it all the time. I would think with the number of times you have dropped it and picked it up to stick it back in your mouth again, you were bound to catch something.

You are napping now between baba and I. You must have been exhausted. You are not eating very well. But you have always been long and lean mashallah. I would like to see more meat on your bones but I know that you know when you are hungry. I just don't want you missing out on anything due to communication problems between you and I/us. You still give me a heck of a time at diaper-changing, not sure why you cry and scream like you do. I wish I knew so that I would make you feel better and make the experience less stressful, until you start using the potty that is. All in good time inshallah.

I love you my dear dear boy with all my heart. If I am hard on you, I am truly sorry. Know that I am ten times harder on myself when I am hard on you. That is not an excuse, you deserve respect, love, and care, because you exude those qualities. You have a heart of gold my darling boy. I love you.

Your Eighteen Month Check-up Update...

Dearest Jude,

You are exactly eighteen months and 4 days old. I took you to Dr. W for your check-up and you took your injection like a champion. Your measurements are:
weight 23 pounds
height 89.5 cm
head circumference 48 cm

You are growing up mashallah. You are just lovely. I think you are starting the terrible twos early. But I think the tantrums are a result of your frustration with the inability to communicate with us.

I love you my darling and big boy!

Mama

One Year, Six Months...

Dearest Jude,

You and I got our flu shots a couple of days ago and got you weighed. You weigh exactly 10.8862 kg. I was concerned about your eating and was told that you are doing ok. We suspect that your gums are bothering you as you are getting more teeth in. We believe that you now have 12 teeth in total.

You are eating a LOT of pickles these days. You prefer using your hands as opposed to using utensils. Honestly, as long as you are eating. You are learning more vocabulary and are catching on to a lot more things than we are giving you credit for. Mashallah you are very smart. You are also developing a saucy personality and tend to have a bit of temper if you don't get your way. I believe a lot of it is due to frustration due to your inability to communicate your needs.

You are now upset because I am not letting you climb out of your high chair. I love you with all my heart. Your baba, khalo Mo, tete, jiddo, grammie and sissies love you very much.