One Year, One Month, Two Days...

Dearest Jude,

This month seems to be the month of pointing and asking what everything is!

You want to be held, still. But you also want your independence. You want to feed yourself. You want to be chased. You want to play on your own. But you are very demanding when you want a cuddle or a caress. You get one for three seconds and then you want to take off again. We don't mind the cuddles, even the short ones.

You graze a lot, so you don't eat a lot at meal times. But you seem to be getting enough food and milk throughout the day non-the-less.

This month had a bit of a surprise in it. Not a good one unfortunately. Alhamdellah always and for everything. Your baba had a small stroke and ended up staying in the hospital for 8 days. We made the best of it and visited him every day. He is good alhamdellah. It affected his upper left side and speech for a bit. But we called the ambulance right away, as soon as we noticed that he was speaking funny, so he was treated fairly quickly. So the effects of the stroke were not long lasting. His arm and hand work like nothing has happened alhamdellah. His speech is getting better by the day alhamdellah. He passed his driving test yesterday so he is good to go to work on Monday, June 29th.

Right now we are at your baba's friend Clarence's cottage at 1869 Waterloo Rd, by Bridgewater. We are here for two days with you grammie, auntie Lynne and cousin Bri. Tete did not feel like coming, with fasting and all. Khalo Mo has work.

You are currently napping on the bed next to me. You are just a beautiful soul mashallah. I hope that I will be deserving of you and that we will always be loving and close with one another. I also pray that Allah's love and guidance always encase you and that the Prophet Muhammad PBUH be your constant guide in life. Do not be like your mom, carrying the ladder horizontally through life. And take things easy as they come and don't sweat the little stuff.

I love you with all my heart, we all do!

Mama

One Year Old!

Jude,

You are ONE YEAR OLD!!

This is a milestone that your father and I are so thankful to God for reaching. I still remember the day you were born. You came into this world on May 23rd, 2014, at 7:53PM. You were 6 pounds, 9 ounces. You were 21 inches long.

We had a party for you today. We got a chocolate sheet cake with trucks for the guests, and a strawberry shortcake for you. We had Sam and Sara from across the street, Abby, Jenine and Abdallah, TJ and Jason, and Radwan. Inshirah, Samah and Hattan, Kristy, Chantal, Sarah, Arwa and Shumon, Karen, Ghada and Samir, Zahra and Zein, Fatima, Kaliegh, Nancy, Lynne, Rachel, Alana and Fraser were here as well. They spoiled you rotten, mashallah!

I think you had fun. It was a lot of people, that we don't usually have at the house, but you seemed to be taking everything in with a stride. You were crawling around and greeting everyone.

I love you so much, my handsome one year old! You are the greatest gift we could have received.

I will continue to strive to deserve you. Mama is having a hard time now. But I am working on making things easier on myself and on you. Inshallah I will succeed.

Happy birthday to the best boy ever. Mama loves you so very much.

Side Note...

Sweetheart,

If you learn one thing from me, I hope it would be to not live with debt. It might not seem like a big.deal, but it really is. Debt affects how you view yourself, friends, social situations.

I am referring to the monitary debt now.

I would love for you to work hard for what you have. That would be the only way you can put your head on your pillow at night, and actually find peace and comfort. Knowing that you have done everything you could that day and that you worked your hardest, would not only put you to sleep out of tiredness, but also out of peace of mind. Peace of mind is one of those things that everyone is looking for and trying to achieve in their lives. And to me, honest living and being true to God, are the way to achieve it.

Life these days is hard without owning a credit card. This card is essential to BUILD credit. It is not your ticket to buying everything you could ever want. It is your way of eventually owning a home and/or a car. Do not fall for the credit company's traps with the minimum payment options. That is their way of getting you hooked. Once you miss a payment, it is extremely hard to catch up. Please listen to me now before you do what I and your dad and everyone else we know have done. And we all have bad credit to show for it 😠

If you buy something on a credit card, make sure you have the cash to buy said thing, so that the credit card is used to record your purchase for the credit bureau. And then use the cash you have to pay off the amount you just charged on your credit card right away. Please please please, learn from my mistakes.

Now with regards to spiritual debt.

We are all created by God, and given all the blessings that we have in our lives. All that is asked of us in return is to make sure we at least follow the five pillars in our lives. We need to keep the belief that there is no God but the One, and that Muhammad PBUH is his messenger, and that Jesus PBUH, Moses PBUH and all the prophets that came before Muhammad PBUH are messengers from God, delivering the same message.
We need to pray five times a day. We need to pay Zakaat, the yearly payment made to charity. We need to fast Ramadan. And we need to perform Hajj or the Greater Pilgrimage. Now I was not blessed to be able to perform the "mini" pilgrimage, or Umra, with my parents, a few times.
All of those are very simple and easy requirements to keep up with, as long as a habit to perform them is maintained. And it is essential that they are not done, just to be done. Remind yourself, the blessings that you have, your health, your happiness, your path, are all from God. He loves you so much and wants to see you in paradise, eternally happy.

Do not owe yourself anything in this department. Time, once passed, is passed forever. We do not get a second chance when it comes to that. This does not mean to always tread lightly or to be terrified of committing to something or a decision. It just simply means that our time on this earth should be used mindfully. So be mindful of your actions and words. Any action causes a reaction, whether from a friend, a family member, a stranger, or from another living entity as well as the environment we live in. Be mindful of yourself and of your surroundings.

This is heavy, I know. But now is as good a time as any to make sure that you learn important life lessons, at a young age.

I love you.

Mama's First Mother's Day

Dearest Jude,

You have made a mama out of me!

I never thought this day would come. I thought that I will never be blessed with this gift. But, God's will is above all.

We went to your grammie's and stayed there for supper. It was fun, as we haven't seen her in a while. You had lots of fun exploring her place and trying to figure Holly the cat out. She scared you a bit but we got over it pretty quickly :)
You and baba got me some yummy chocolates and cards. It was so sweet.

Might as well do a quick update, since you will be ONE YEAR OLD the next time an update is uploaded inshallah. I still can not believe that you will be a year old. I have had the most beautiful son in my life for a year already. It feels like it passed in a blink of an eye, subhanallah.

You are a little under the weather right now. We got a little worried because I felt like your appetite was suffering. You are only stuffed up with a runny nose. I weighed you at Dr. White's office and it came up to 19.5 pounds. P.S. you are healthy alhamdellah, and are getting your appetite back.

You no longer are interested in breastfeeding. You don't even have any interest in it for comfort, like you have been the last little while. So I am officially done breastfeeding you. I would estimate that you stopped at around 11 months. You are more interested in chunky foods than you are in purees. You have 8 teeth after all! I think you are working on some more teeth at the moment.

I still can not believe that you will be a year old inshallah. We have some people scheduled to come over and have a little birthday party for you. Inshallah this year, your birthday lands on a Saturday, that your dad has off. So we are getting you some birthday cake and some decorations. You are my best friend and my companion while baba is working, after all. So I think you earned it, being stuck with me and all.

You really are special mashallah. I love you with all my heart my darling boy.

Thank you for having me as your mama.

Eleven Months...

Dearest Jude,

You are ELEVEN MONTHS OLD!  I can not believe that you came into this world this many months ago. It almost makes me sad how fast those eleven months have gone. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute we spend together, but it just seems to have gone by like a blink of an eye. Please utilize your time wisely, it is very short. We don't get a lot of time, even if it might seem like we do. We all look back and wonder where the time has gone and if we have enough to show for it. Our time on this earth is so short, that we would need to be smart with what we do with ourselves. This does not necessarily mean that you have to spend every minute productively. It simply means that it is best to follow this simple rule, told to me by my dad, your jiddo: When it is time for study or work, work hard and focus on work. When it is time to have fun, have fun, and just focus on that. Give each thing you do your all, and I hope that when you look back at how you spent your time, you will have no regrets.

You had a hard month. We moved from our apartment in Lower Sackville, to your tete and jiddo's house, in Halifax. This move has been difficult, because it feels like it is dragging on forever. We have been gradually moving things over the month of April, which explains this feeling of slow progression. We share the house with your khalo Mohammed and your tete and jiddo when they are in town. We are hoping that this would be our first and last move since you came along. The great thing about this move, is that it works well for everyone. You have your own room, that you can grow into. I always found this house to be too big and lonely, even though it really isn't, but a house should not be empty. It just doesn't seem right. So with all of us being here, this house finally feels, to me at least, like a home.

You are a crawling machine! You can get over ledges and keep on going for a while. You also want to climb on everything, and are trying to stand up by yourself. We have to put baby gates up everywhere, just to make sure you don't get yourself in any trouble. You are helping us unpack by pulling everything out of boxes, which is kind of nice because it keeps us motivated. You are getting picky with food, everything needs to have plain yogurt in it for you to eat it. That is alright though, yogurt is full of protein, so I am happy.

I still can not believe how blessed I am to have you in my life, how blessed we all are. We have our rough days, but just a look or a smile from you seems to make everything better. Not just for me, but for everyone around you. You are so loved, and we feel your immense love for us in return. I hope this love of ours is always growing and never ending.

I love you with all my heart, my darling little man,

your mama

Ten Months...

My Dearest One,

You are TEN months old! Mashallah, habeebi. You have gotten so big. You have outgrown most of your clothes, for one. Another major development is that you, all of a sudden, decided that you want to start crawling! The walker we got, is still being used quite a bit. But you are enjoying spending time on the carpet, surrounded by toys. You throw the toys around and chase after them. You are getting into everything even more now.

You also have scheduled playdates now. Every Tuesday, we have Auntie Nadra, Malak and Ahmad over. Every Thursday, we have Auntie Karen, TJ and Jason. This coming Wednesday, Alana, Alana's friend Ricki-Lee and her daughter Abby, are coming over for a playdate. We have a running joke, that you and Abby are special friends. You seem to enjoy playing with older kids though. I think you are more grown up than we realize. You certainly act like it sometimes. It is more apparent when Rachel is here. You love playing with her and spending time with her. She spent her March break week with us, and we had a great time. We were home bound because of a major storm. But we tried to have some fun with it. We got dressed in our winter gear and put you in the sled. We attempted to take you out for a walk, but we made it to the end of our parking spot, and had to turn around. We had four feet of snow!

You are getting very saucy, too. When you don't get your way, you shriek. You start screaming bloody murder, or you clench your fists and shake your face and arms. I probably should not be laughing when you do this, but sometimes I can't help it. It is just too cute. You are babbling like crazy. Baba is a constant. Mama is said sometimes. There are other syllables that you say every day, but you seem to come up with them on the spot. And it is funny because you come up with a lot of stuff, when I am sternly speaking to you. You seem to be arguing your case with me.

We are still trying to call Tete and Jiddo everyday. They LOVE you so very much. Also, your khalo still tries to come over every Sunday. He is absolutely enamoured by you. Everyone is. You are getting a big head, I am sure. You can be bad at times. Like I said you are getting into everything. We have to discipline you at times. I think you are learning. You have a suspicious look about you when you are doing something that you know is wrong. You certainly act guilty. It is very precious. I hope you keep your innocence for as long as possible.

The world has some bad, as can be seen on the news every day. But it has lots of good, too. Please be the good that this world needs more of. I am not asking you to be perfect. I am just asking that you try to be as good as you can be. Have God in your heart, and inshallah you will always be guided towards the right path. This advise is not perfected by any one, myself and your baba included. We are all trying to find our way in this life. No one is perfect, so no one is expecting you to be. Parents, however, want the best for their kids, simply because they love them so much. They don't want them to repeat the same mistakes they made, because they don't want them to feel anything negative. It is silly, I know. But it can not be helped, parents just love their kids that much. The saying "Do as I say, not as I do", is kind of applicable here. The advise we give you, is from experience. So, we had to have the mistakes we are telling you not to make.

I love you with all my heart. We all do. May Allah be with you always and forever. You have so much goodness in you, I can tell. I hope and pray that you follow through with it, and not let some people's ugliness, misguide it.

P.S. Those girls, your sisters, are beautiful inside and out and we are all very lucky to have them in our lives, as daughters and sisters. God bless all three of you and always guide you all

I love you with all my heart, my darling. Do not ever forget that. Everything your baba and I do, we do for you.

Love,
Mama

Nine Months...

Dearest One,

Mashallah, you are NINE months old! Where does the time go??!!
We had a busy month. You are trying to get SIX teeth out all at once. You visited with your great aunt, khalti Lina, my grandparents, your tete and your jiddo (first time meeting face-to-face) and your second cousins.

You are eating three solid meals. You get a bottle at night still. If we are home, you get breastfed. If baba is home with us, you get a bottle in the morning and another in the afternoon. You enjoy cuddling with baba and spending time with him, alhamdellah. You have lost some weight though, as your appetite  seems to have been affected by your teeth coming on. But, you are still growing like a weed, mashallah. Most of your clothes are too small now. Even stuff that are sized for 12 month Olds can be too small on you now, mashallah.
You don't seem interested in crawling at all. The minute your belly is touching the ground, you flip yourself over onto your back with ease mashallah. But, you like walking. All anyone has to do is to grab a hold of your arms and you are putting one foot in front of the other mashallah. While we were visiting the family in New Jersey, we picked up a walker. You weren't sure at first, and it looked like you might not be interested. But it didn't take long for you to get the hang of it and run after us all!

Mashallah, mashallah, mashallah! You are an amazing traveler! The plane rides over to NJ and back, did not seem to bother you. You made friends easily with fellow travelers and flight attendants. The only issue was always keeping you entertained. But, all in all, for a first time travelor at almost nine months old, is an accomplishment. Not to mention that your great grandparents,  my tete and jiddo, are huge fans of yours and love you to bits and pieces. The whole family was very happy to have you visiting with them and were enjoying your antics and words. You are more vocal now and try to copy as many sounds as you can hear. One thing that you have done since day one and is the cutest thing ever, is that you hold your right hand's three middle fingers straught and flick them up and down on things. It is charming and cute. Your jiddo, my baba, thinks it's the most beautiful  thing ever and was the only one to notice it outside of myself and your baba.
I am attaching a picture of our electronic ticket to NJ, as a momento for this month,  since it was your first time traveling on an airplane, the first time you met your jiddo face-to-face, the first time I was alone with you and we were away from baba for an extended period of time, the first time you met your great grandparents. It was a lot of firsts for us both and it was wonderful.  I just wish your baba was there too. Inshallah next time. Also, this month, all three of us prayed together! inshallah we continue to pray together and you keep on top of it for your own sake.

I am sorry for the long post. I love you with all my heart, my darling.  May Allah always keep you healthy,  safe and happy. May you always be guided to the right path, and may you always use Muhammad PBUH to guide your life and actions.

All my love,
Mama